The Beginning

Hello all...
I've decided to create a blog to journal my adventure in weight loss. Fun..fun..

All of the articles/books I've read say that you need to write down everything you eat. But - I've decided that the problem is not with food - initially anyway. My problem is with my attitude/feelings/self-image/everything Jillian Michaels tells people on The Biggest Loser.

While I will probably end up writing down everything that passes my lips - this is a good place to start.

Let's begin at the beginning - a very good place to start... (get it? anyone?)

I was born. Just kidding.... Okay - so I was a chubby kid. I wasn't a fat kid. I just wasn't all elbows and knees like most of the other girls my age. I had baby fat. I hung on to it until 8TH GRADE. Seriously. But first-there was fifth grade. Hell on earth. First, I'm started to get interested in boys, mostly boys in my class because they were the ones that I interacted with on a regular basis. But there was a problem - these boys were 11 and 12 years old. As far as my expectations for maturity, they were so far below the bar that pole vaulting wouldn't even get them halfway to the goal. And, as fate would have it, acne struck early. So - most interactions with the opposite sex went as follows:

"Hi Josh"
"Why don't you go back to zit-ville?"

Short - Simple-Scarring

Then there was this taunt:

"MOOOOOOO!"

Always good  to hear yourself being compared to bovine - really does wonders for the ol self-esteem.

But, things change, as they always do.

Eighth grade baby!!! Lost the baby fat - lost the braces - started wearing makeup. BAM!!! Hello boys! Luckily - I was sane enough not to date any of those pubescent name-calling morons. I set my sights higher - toward the bright and shining beacon of high school.

High School was awesome - with a few bumps.

I got down to 115 my freshman year - due to an emotionally abusive relationship - stupid boys. Sophmore year - I balloned to 140 trying to recover from aforementioned relationship.

Junior year was glorious - I started eating better and exercising. I healthily got down to 117 pounds. I then evened out the next couple years at a "happy" weight of 125.

Then I went to college. I didn't gain the freshman 15. I just steadily gained until graduation. Then, I steadily gained through marriage, a master's degree, and a year of teaching.

The death-blow to my health was a move to Chicago last year. 1 year - 20 pounds and now NONE of my clothes fit. I look in the mirror and don't even recognize that person. And then I get mad at myself and go and eat some more. Pizza when I'm sad. Chinese when I'm in a celebratory mood. There seems to be no middle ground.

My current job has me sitting at a desk 9-10 hours a day, commuting home and picking up handy-dandy McDonald's on the way home because I have no time to cook. Well - I tell myself I have no time to cook.

So....after a move to Austin (closer to home and all the support I could possibly want) - I've decided to give Weight Watchers a try. Obviously I'm not doing it on my own - so I need the support. I will be starting in February.

I will here share all of my triumphs and failures, goals and ...help me...even my weight.

Stay tuned...